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16 November 2005

Mon Cherie Babette

Location : Reading, England.

Guys, I think I'm in love...sweet sweet love! When I first saw her a few days ago(13th of November), I felt immediate fire in my pants and my heart started beating so hard it almost popped out of my chest! She's from France, she's sooooooo gorgeous and she just oozes with sensuality. She has the face of an angel and the body of a goddess. Her sly smiles, cute giggles, inviting glances and seductive looks caused such an overwhelming urge in me, I just had to find a way to sex her up! I studied French language in university and I can't remember shit now but I really needed to talk to her before she disappears from my life and I never see her again. So I gathered all my courage, staggered up to her, blurted whatever I could remember in French and hope she doesn't bitch slap the life out of me. What was supposed to be "Bonjour, mon cherie. Je voudrais vous voir a poil! J'ai envie de toi desesperement....fais-moi l'amour..." turned out to be more like "Mon cherie, oh mon cherie let me taste your...cherries?". I almost died.

So I fumbled in my approach like a useless twat but she found it funny instead and we were getting it on eventually! Guess the stars were perfectly aligned that night. I couldn't help but stare at her from head to toe, carefully scrutinising any physical defects she might have on her but I swear she is perfect! So young(only 10 years old), so nimble, so tender, so alluring, so very lovely. She has a great pair of voluptuous front spotlights and a nice, tight back bumper that any guy who's not gay would love to grope. =) We chatted for a while and before long I was tired of chatting. I just wanted to bring the woman out of her... I knew I had to have her so after some deliberative contemplating I popped the world famous French question "Voulez-vous coucher avec moi (ce soir)?"...

I was so nervous at screwing up, I unknowingly took my key and ended up twirling it around her ignition but she was getting pretty excited because she took it as a tease. Just then I slowly slide my dangling ding-a-ling into her but I was surprised she didn't make any sound yet. Then I started it too short? =) I could have continued to slide it in and out repeatedly but that would only satisfy myself which is a sin against humanity. Her divine satisfaction was more important than mine. I pointed my piece in a different direction and my French beauty started purring like a pussy cat seeking affectionate attention. Gosh, she even sounds beautiful. After a bit more foreplay, I add in a little more lubricating substance(petrol) and my cooing French beauty quickly turned into a tiger in bed!

We've only been together for a few days and already I'm feeling began when I first laid my eyes on her. Kelly(my surfboard) will be jealous but for the moment, I'm really looking forward to spending quality time and making sparks fly with my new French girl. This is because I'm happy this French girl makes some kinda sound compared to Kelly, who is silent and stiff most of the time. That means there will be a few wonderful conversations ahead where else Kelly only wants me to ride her all the time. =)

My French goddess is a 1995 Peugeot 306 1.6 SL. She is :-

  • not too expensive - 1300(including road tax & comprehensive insurance).
  • only 10 years old.
  • a Sedan/Saloon.
  • 4 door.
  • 68000 miles.
  • metallic blue.
  • responsive on the accelerator.
  • makes great engine sound, an indication that she's healthy.
  • body parts like doors, headlights and wings all aligned and no colour markings on the edges...which means it is accident-free.
  • excellent trimmings, upholstery and finishings.
  • my most expensive umbrella yet - I bought her because I didn't want to walk to work in the winter.

Some more pictures of her in all her glory...

Her insides
She likes the same music as I do.
From this angle, her ass looks the size of colossal proportions but it's ok 'cos I like meat!  =)
Oh what a LOVELY arse!

Three quarter angle
My ocean blue beach babe!
Curvy sides
Her curvy contours are so sexxyyyyyy.....

Side profile
She even looks good from the side
Always wet
I open my door and she's there looking at me so adorably!

She's wet all over
She makes me proud - even my neighbours like looking at her!
Up close and personal
It's official : She looks good from every angle.

Her French name is Babette.

I think this is my dirtiest post yet. =) If I don't stop perving at my French girl, I'm gonna need some therapy.

Posted by Ripcord at November 16, 2005 07:20 AM


And i thought "whut the hell"??!!LOL!You seriously need to get laid ,man!Have u spoken to "iforgothernameagain" and asked her out on a date?And how wuz yer birthday?post it upla.

Posted by: madmatt at November 16, 2005 08:49 AM

a peugeot...

i've always thought the 206 was some good make...

this is cool. no more walking in the rain, and more of those 'i need to surf NOW' - trips? heh

love, jin

Posted by: erinnys at November 16, 2005 10:09 AM

LOL.. Trust you to post such a salacious entry about a car.. but she is a beauty. Besides, have always been partial to blue myself.. Enjoy

Posted by: Cyn at November 16, 2005 11:23 AM

hahaha... knew it...knew tht u were not describing about a genuine girl from the first line...

so how much u pay for it?
tell us the price...and make us jealous

Posted by: zbjernak at November 16, 2005 11:52 PM

madmatt : i AM getting a car! =)

erinnys : think i might have to forgo surf trips from now on and make more snowboarding trips because winter is finally here.

cyn : define salacious?

zbjernak : oh no...have i become that predictable? =) but i HAVE written about a real girl before :-
i thought mentioned the price of the car but i didn't. i'll go add it now.

Posted by: Ripcord at November 17, 2005 01:27 AM

Heheheheh Thought you got yourself another surfboard :)

Cool car, love the colour.

Posted by: Kevin at November 17, 2005 04:49 AM

thats the killer...

Rm5600 for tht car...800 pound

and i believe it does not even cost u half a month of ur salary in pound...

now i m real jealous


Posted by: zbjernak at November 17, 2005 07:30 AM

xD For the life of me I thought you were talking about a girl! xD Exactly what have you been smoking and how much of it was there when you were writing this?

Posted by: Reiven at November 17, 2005 02:58 PM

i wouldn't mind if you linked me

a 70% is pretty bad. I definetely wouldn't want that. what do you mean "is it possible to score over a 90%?" of course it is. if your test is 100 multiple choice questions and you get 2 of them wrong, then you got a 98%. see? some professors are harder than others though.

Posted by: stephanie at November 17, 2005 06:55 PM

Hey mate! You paid peanut for that car which is good price. Well done. Now you can't complain anymore to getting around.
Good news! Australia has won World Cup qualifier to enter the game in Germany next year. For 32 years since last time. Aussie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

Posted by: Dorian at November 17, 2005 10:02 PM

LOL yeah you really do need to get laid ;)

A fansign is a picture of you holding up a piece of paper with my name on it and a hot message ;)

Posted by: Kelina at November 17, 2005 10:27 PM

when i first read , i was like .. wtf ? telling the whole world how you get ur new girl laid ?

oh well ... :P

Posted by: Jason Lee at November 18, 2005 02:38 AM

LOL.. salacious; scandalous, sensational, exciting, interesting, spicy...

I think it fits, no?

Posted by: Cyn at November 18, 2005 02:58 AM

guys, i AM getting laid. but by who/what? possibilities :-

1. mrs.palm
2. peugeot 306
3. girl
4. wild rabbit
5. guy
6. a squid

maybe all of them?

Posted by: Ripcord at November 18, 2005 06:05 AM

Self laid with a surfboard?


Posted by: Reiven at November 18, 2005 04:14 PM

Hilarious! You really had me fooled there!! Enjoy pimping your ride :-) V

Posted by: Vanessa at November 18, 2005 09:18 PM

I think we've had you trapped in the office too long - you need to get out, and relax your brain a bit!

Posted by: Matt at November 19, 2005 03:36 PM

and I was thinking you got lucky with fleshnblood.heh

More inclined to see her as.....angular than curvaceous but.....ah...must be true love for you then! hehe.

Posted by: reka at November 20, 2005 05:55 AM

And you took photos of her when she was all WET.. how embarassing for her.. caught in action

Posted by: brains at November 20, 2005 01:58 PM

vanessa : when i read my own post, i felt like i fooled myself too! =)

matt : so does that mean i can bring my blow-up doll to office?

brains : i wouldn't say 'caught'. she POSED for it. ;)

Posted by: Ripcord at November 21, 2005 05:31 AM

You cradle snatcher.. only 10?? Tsk tsk

Posted by: fuzzy at January 8, 2006 04:32 AM