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4 June 2004

No More Mr.Nice Guy

Location : Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.

Disclaimer - Don't read this post if you know me in real life. And if you have the time, read the whole disclaimer in the 'Read This' section on the right.

When you first came, I was happy to meet you again. I was going to do what most people hosting guests from another country would do - to make your stay as comfortable as I can. So, I drove you around and showed you places you wanted to see.

I drove you around Kuala Lumpur trying to find you a bus ticket because you were desperate to go to the beach. When the 10pm bus was available, you insisted on going to another bus station to try and catch an earlier bus departing at 7pm. In my mind, I was thinking what the hell is the difference of 3 hours going to do when you could have had a bus ticket in hand and confirm your departure. But I ferried you there anyway and drove through a total of 5 hours worth of traffic jams and heavy traffic, collecting a parking summons along the way. There were no earlier buses available and when we finally got back to where we started, the 10pm bus ticket had sold out. Any other guy would've given up there but I remained patient, drove you to the last bus station and finally succeeded in getting a ticket departing at 1am.

When you were planning to go to the islands, I showed you the best route to take which was from KL-Cherating-Perhentians-Taman Negara-KL but you insisted on making your own plans while proclaiming "Scandinavian women are very independent". If you really are independent, why do you always refer to me when you have a guidebook at hand? And why did you finally use the route I suggested?

To all this and your constant whining, bitching and complaints, I told myself - forget about everything. It's your first time in Asia and you are just having trouble adjusting. I tolerated and endured your constant flirting although you know that you are not desirable in my eyes. I realised I was the donkey you could bash around because although I didn't like it, I continued to tell myself that I can take this...because you were only here for 2 weeks. I was brought up to eat other people's bitterness and swallow my own suffering. You were a foreign guest visiting from overseas. I would never abandon a friend alone in an unknown town a long long way from home because I know what it feels like. I was abandoned before in Wellington, New Zealand.

In Cherating, you turned around to say I was overbearing. What??!! Because I was trying to make your stay comfortable? Thank you for your honesty but that bites! So, I decided that when we reach the islands, you guys are on your own and again, agreeing to what you want. But when we finally reach the islands, you turned around to say that I am avoiding you because you always had to look for me. What the fuck??!! Why were you being so difficult and spoilt? I'm giving you independence!!! I'm giving you time to spend among yourselves and do what you want! That's what you wanted, isn't it? Argh, make up your stupid mind!

Then one day you came trodding along the beach claiming "Oh, we haven't been snorkelling before and we just want to try it out to see if we can actually do it". So, I got my friend to loan us the gear for free and snorkel near the beach, telling him that we'd go snorkelling with him the next day if everything went well. But instead, you went ahead to snorkel with another operator. Are you plain dumb? That is so ironic because in the past, this same friend has told me before that among all the people from around the world, he finds that people from your country like to take advantage. And I witnessed it before my eyes! I was at a lost for words because I didn't know what to tell my friend when you went snorkelling with someone else and you just proved his opinion right. Now, you've infected not just me with your manipulative virus, but my mates.

I am back in Kuala Lumpur and my brother Leonard tells me he had such a hard time trying to return you the shoes you guys left behind. He drove down to jam-packed Chinatown only to meet you at a restaurant that doesn't exist because you got the name wrong and while searching for you at a second location, you left to go shopping at Lot 10(a distance away). Use me - fine. Use my friends - still fine. Use my family - you have crossed the point of no return. And that is why this story is up. I was going to stay quiet and suffer silently like I've always managed to forgive and forget in the past. But I won't stay silent when it involves my family.

I've hosted friends from Finland, New Zealand, Germany, Spain and none of them has been as unappreciative, self-centred, manipulative and inconsiderate as where you're from. I don't distinguish between male or female, and I'm treating you just like how I would treat other friends if they did that to me or my loved ones. Although you are the rotten egg, I will not cross out your whole country because I have met nice eggs from that same basket before. But I will have reservations from now onwards because of you. I hope you know now...how to be less of a bitch and more of a person. I need to learn how to be less of a nice guy and more of a bastard.

Your friendship is not important to me anymore. Ta!

Posted by Ripcord at June 4, 2004 11:17 AM

Comments

Yeah I had a person like this over at my place once.

He came to KL with USD 200, i rented him a place for a month without asking for payment (he said he'd pay it in a week which he did not... he paid it at the end of the month, but after 10 days the thought did dawn i'd never see the cash).

He made a real pain of himself and kept complaining I was not taking him "anywhere exotic". Where could I take this guy with no money who was stuck in Malaysia for a month with a pittance?

He went back to Italy and complained to everyone both my boyfriend and I were a bad hosts even after all that ferrying around and using, and picking up his tabs here and there. What made me sick was how he used my friends and family too - dragged them around in circles and bitched to them behind my back that I was not taking him to the jungle, beach, etc.

What's worse is that his own father used to call and demand that I take him off places! What a CHILD. At twenty-fuckin-three.

Such people do exist - but hopefully it's not the norm.

I too am not going to be flippant about entertaining everyone.

///julz

Posted by: julz at June 4, 2004 01:01 PM

damn you actually off the island ....

shit nevermind will catch up with you in kl then

was actually thinking to go off to the islands to meet you? interested to go back there??

that is if my boss releases me earlier from this job

laters

Posted by: brains at June 4, 2004 02:09 PM

Very deep

Posted by: Jessie at June 4, 2004 02:09 PM

Brother I feel your pain..

Posted by: brains at June 4, 2004 02:18 PM

Oh.

Maybe I should be a little quiet about my swedish half when I come and visit...

Kidding. I've not spent enough time in sweden to be able to comment as such, but there is a definate trait in some scandinavians to be that way, I've met a few with similar consequences.

We all know that if Ed has a rant like this, it is for real. It takes this dude a LOT to put him on edge like this; call-centre operatives, brits in pubs, scandinavians etc.

Well said...

Posted by: raphrider at June 4, 2004 07:27 PM

brains : i'll be heading into thailand soon and going to perhentian after that.

julz : it's hard when you give an inch and they demand a yard. i tend to give it anyway but from now on, i'm going to be selective.

raph : and you're still selected! =) you know me well and thanks for the support, dude. i've never made a post like this before, directed at an individual i know personally so yeah...i took in a LOT of shit. i thought twice about this post, i did it anyway and then i felt...damn, it's a lot easier being a bastard!

Posted by: Ripcord at June 4, 2004 10:42 PM

WOW!!!!

I really don't know what to say.... I could never take advantage of anyone like that. If you need a good visitor let me know ;)

xoxoxo
susan
p.s. don't take it too hard you don't need friends like that and now they will take the hint and maybe change their behavior

Posted by: Crazy Canadian at June 5, 2004 12:34 AM

oh yeah....
I forgot to say I miss talking to you and hope that you live my hours sometime soon so we can talk again. Or maybe I could live your hours????

have fun in Thailand and get a thai massage for me eh!!

Posted by: Crazy Canadian at June 5, 2004 12:39 AM

hmm.. sounds exactly like the reincarnation of my ex-swedish hostel mate (o, how we avoided her like a plague!). i mean. they try so hard to prove how independent how intelligent and how strong they are. i say, chill out gals.

Posted by: F_lee at June 5, 2004 02:31 AM

Nah. Just be nice to the people that deserve it. Ignore the rest.

Posted by: Stacy at June 5, 2004 12:03 PM

Ed - you should be selective.... but don't close yourself out to the nice people out there. Think of all the friends you've made over the years - don't do them or the other potential friends you may make one day injustice because of this one bitch.

Next time you see a "user", just politely excuse yourself from the scenario and spare the indignity.

But really - knowing you, you're a nice guy, you'll do it all over again if you had to. (though you may say no right now)

No harm done. You're a better person than she is...

///ej

Posted by: julz at June 5, 2004 05:30 PM

c.canadian : i know she is reading this and her response i await. i'm at a point where i'm willing to forego the friendship so that is why i made this post. i'll have to get that thai massage and then perform it on you! =P

f_lee : it's a pity how things turned out because i used to work with her. never expected her to be like this.

stacy : fuck being nice. from now on, i'm going to be mr.your-ultimate-nightmare.

julz : thanks for the advice! next time, i'll make them fill in detailed forms and pay application fees.

Posted by: Ripcord at June 5, 2004 05:46 PM

Hey mate... wow she must have really f*cked with your head, as your THE most laid back dude I have still ever met and I appreciate the amount of concideration you must have put into writting this post that is so far from your usual character.

I hope life otherwise is going good for you, can't wait to come visit you and show you that some people in this world do know how to behave.

Speak soon mate. RB

Posted by: VIRGIN at June 6, 2004 01:10 AM

ed you said:

"c.canadian : i know she is reading this and her response i await. i'm at a point where i'm willing to forego the friendship so that is why i made this post."

There was no friendship to forego! Friends don't treat other friends like that. So whatever her response, give her the standard 2-liner... STUFF IT!

You did good boy, you did good.... you treated her well and you stood up for yourself after being played... I'm proud of you! :D

Hey when you're around let me know... I'm quite busy now but would love to do wan tan mee again someday :D

///julz

Posted by: julz at June 6, 2004 03:47 PM

hey sweetie

I am completely exicited about the possibility. I just have to find a way there..... Would you want to go to Borneo with me?? Spend some time in Kuching? as well as the rest Borneo has to offer??

Talk to you later
xoxoxo

Posted by: Crazy Canadian at June 7, 2004 01:29 AM

virgin : yeah, i was fucked all over. i'm happy to know that you understood me well! =)

julz : we'll do wan tan mee someday..

c.canadian : tell me what's the plan.

Posted by: Ripcord at June 7, 2004 05:21 AM

I hope you see me as one of the nice eggs.. I'm ashamed of beeing swedish..
xx

Posted by: anna at June 7, 2004 06:17 AM

when i said nice egg, i was thinking of you! and i meant you! =)

so, don't be ashamed, sweetie..

Posted by: Ripcord at June 7, 2004 06:37 AM

They're not all bad. I had a nice time hosting two girls from Sweden a couple weeks back. Or maybe I was just lucky they were nice people.


Tim

Posted by: Tim at June 7, 2004 10:58 AM

wow, that sounds like a total nightmare.

good riddance!

Posted by: sarah at June 7, 2004 06:36 PM

rip, once in a while you'll come across people like this. you are too nice to the extend until you have to write a long entry to justify why you are gonna stuff the friendship. very very "pay mean" liao.

if it was me, saya tak payah buang masa lagi, ngor tiu hey toe sor. hope you understand cantonese.

Posted by: potatoe at June 8, 2004 09:23 AM

hahahaha pots...

Posted by: grim at June 8, 2004 03:22 PM

tim : yeah, i know they are not all bad. anna(who i met on the island) was really nice.

potatoe : i understand cantonese and i totally agree.

Posted by: Ripcord at June 8, 2004 07:18 PM

Hi nice blog!
Well I totally agree with Potatoe. Not worth giving a damn to people who takes advantages of you. It might sounds bad but normally I'll just fight fire with fire.

Posted by: Kevin at June 9, 2004 09:11 AM

Got it already.
Yah true. It's hard to do so with girls. But sometimes it's for the best. Well anyway it's all over now so you just have to put it a side as some bad experience with humans (generally). BTW my friend and I envy you a lot couze you’ve been traveling sooooo much.

Posted by: Kevin at June 9, 2004 02:21 PM

i already "elect" u as my idol....

wonderful blog...hav been following since last 2 years......

got no time n $$ to travel....
but by reading ur blog..is like watching DISCOVERY CHANNEL - TRAVEL & ADVENTURE..

Do not let them affect ur superb laid-back-coolness..

Posted by: zbjernak at June 9, 2004 02:36 PM

kev : stop envying and come along! hah...

zbjernak : never knew anyone who's been reading mindriot for that long. it's only been in existence for a year!

cheers for the compliments guys..

Posted by: Ripcord at June 9, 2004 02:49 PM

ripcord -> previously u were not hosting it under ur own domain....is with another domain right??? ...hhahahaha... not 2 years meh??

Posted by: zbjernak at June 9, 2004 05:14 PM

holy cow....have you been reading since the days of 2boredblog when i was living in england?

Posted by: Ripcord at June 9, 2004 05:23 PM

nope...i dont think is 2boredblog...i guess is still mindriot...
i remember it was like in the end of 2002...
i was on my industrial training...was too free browsing...and i came across it...can't recall much...

:)

Posted by: zbjernak at June 10, 2004 01:57 PM